Good Friday Indeed

It’s a long weekend these weekends. Hence, my parents decided to come down for visit. It has been more than 2 years since they came down to Singapore. It was pretty spontaneous. Earlier, I was just casually asking my dad if they planned to visit us since border has been uplifted. And he reverted: yes we will be coming down next week!

He booked accommodation, submitted his pass for approval etc. Fast forward to Thursday, I went out for drinks. Revealed some not-so-secret secrets from my brother. I was not surprised, prolly due to society nowadays, it’s kinda common I guess. I am glad that I am a half glass full person. Somehow I overcome things easier than my friends, and even so, I am able to shower positive energy to the people whom I care.

Me and my brother fully paid for the trip expenses, something I am very proud of. I have been longing to offer this gesture. I brought them to places with legitimate food and services. My mom was happy to see her son after 2 years. I found my brother becoming more mature, he is more chivalry and patience now. Despite being his older sister, sometimes I feel like I am the younger one.

Visited Flower Dome & Cloud Forest. My mom loves flowers, hence it’s a right choice bringing them for the visit. Not to mention, it was pretty sunny and hot. So, it was wise to stay indoors surrounded by flora and fauna. Brought them for dinner in a German bar. Le brother did all the meat cutting which I am glad. I have no idea how to do it to begin with. We then chilled in the hotel for awhile before parents slept in.

Rebellious got us to sneak out for a late night movie. Fortunately, the nearest cinema theatre was just 3 mins away. Parents knocked us on the door at 8am next day when we were still in our bed. Freshen up ourselves, chatted a while while having breakfast before heading out for temple visit. I am glad that dad made such impulsive decision for driving many hours down to Singapore to see us, so that we are able to spend quality time together.

Parents left Singapore after we had Chinese cuisine for lunch in a mall. My dad even bought me some snacks that I casually mentioned before hehe. Went for facial before meeting up le friends at a well known Indian restaurant near Clarke Quay. Met a pretty cool new friend who works in cybersecurity field. He even introduced us a draft beer place for drinks. Though I don’t really fancy beer, I really had fun.

Pretty sum up my Good Friday which is indeed a good Friday. I must say time really flies with a blink of eye. It’s mid April and soon gonna be May. Lately, I found out I am a very bad texter, or rather I prefer face to face conversation. Sometimes I would just ghost people without my knowing, or I feel some texts don’t need my actions? I guess being someone whose love language is quality time, I just want to spend time with those I care.

My heart is full now.

Journal Prompts for 2022

1.     What are 10 great things that happened or that you accomplished in 2021?

  • Successful internal mobility
  • Passed ICA advanced certificate
  • Met someone who changed my perception of love  
  • Blood Donation
  • Candlelight concert
  • Ocean restaurant
  • Take good care of my mental health
  • Having good boss & considerate colleagues
  • Love what I do at work
  • Signed up 2 years gym membership- best investment of the year

2.      What do you want to celebrate?

  • I made promise in doing things even though I am not sure if it is right or it will succeed, at least I took that leap of faith. And I did it!

3.     How do you want to approach 2022?    

  • Remain fearless, to live with no regrets!

4.     What qualities do you want to cultivate?

  • Let things happen, trust the process, and enjoy the ride.

5.     What bad habits do you want to leave in the past?

  • Punctuality
  • Egoistic
  • Splurging

6.    How will you commit to yourself?

  • To remember that no matter how hard it gets, I will continue to remain true to myself

7.    Where will you pour your attention?

  • Physical & mental health. Body management. Career. Education. Relationships.

8.    What habits or practices nourish you?

  • Write journals. Read books.

9.    What do you want more of in 2022?

  • To allocate more time for relationships & myself, aside work.

10.    One small thing you do everyday to be your best self?

  • Reflect/ Pray

Law of Attraction

I don’t deem myself a book smart or very intelligent person. But somehow I am one lucky girl- I always get what I want, of course I work my way up too. I am an optimistic person who worry less though I used to get anxious over unforeseen circumstances that might never happen. It is a total waste of time I would say. No jinx please, still counting my blessings. I believe in law of attraction, especially after reading the book myself.

The law of attraction is a philosophy suggesting that positive thoughts attract positive results into a person’s life whereas negative thoughts attract negative outcomes. It is based on the belief that thoughts are a form of energy and that positive energy attracts success in all areas of life, including health, finances and relationships.

I never doubted myself for not able to achieve what I want. Never. I am not being ignorant. Just saying I am the kind who will focus, work on my goals and never look back. I am very determined to work things out though I might cry when I am stressed out. I never back out. I never told myself that I don’t deserve anything good. I totally deserve it! I would rather work harder than settle for less.

Recently, we went Ocean restaurant to celebrate our birthdays. Pretty much an extravagant experience that I prolly won’t be going back again. The overall experience was top notch, for instance their services, food and restaurant ambience. Just saying it is not a norm where I will be going back as a returning customer cause the experience was not cheap. It is meant for an extravagant experience like I said. But, oh wells, once in a lifetime, plus since we are stuck in Singapore during birthdays. Why not?

It was indeed a memorable night. Having jazz music as BGM with fishes swimming in front of my eyes, I never thought I will be experiencing this in my lifetime. Not that I don’t deserve it, but rather I never thought I can make it this far. Living overseas for almost a decade, I guess I am doing good, to be able to afford such experience. Moral of the story: work hard to have more choices, to deserve better life. I guess we need to be practical and realistic at times where money does provide some sort of security and comfort.

Still working hard on my goals. Still sending positive messages to the universe as I believe I will receive the same. I don’t wish everything is smooth in life cause I know that’s not possible. Instead, I pray for the strength to conquer challenges when times are bad. And of course, always reminding myself to be thankful- appreciate for what I receive, for what I have. Feeling abundant!

Are you working on your new year resolutions already? Cause I am!

Raindrops on Window Panes

A mini staycation of mine has finally come to an end. The weather was cooling and breezy that I have actually been snuggling under a blanket for the past few days. Occasionally, some hot tea session while doing revision. It was quiet, a moment I have been looking forward to spend a little me time away from home.

I looked out the window. The sky turned greyish-blue and large clouds began to gather. I heard raindrops were softly tapping on the windows. In my reflection, they were weaving with the wind. Passersby quickened their pace and umbrellas were opened as the clouds spat out mizzling rain. I grabbed my sweater and had some hot Jasmine tea to keep myself warm in the room.

The sound of the rain was so soothing that I gain so much inner peace. I have so much thoughts running through my mind, mostly reflecting and planning for second half of the year. Many people were cheering for me at the same time telling me that my next job scope will not be easy. Well, we always challenge ourselves to grow as a person, to take baby steps out of comfort zone, aren’t we?

People began to send wishes and congratulating me on LinkedIn after updating my latest posting. Toast for new beginnings! I have been keeping up to my promise by taking leaps of faith regardless in life, relationships or career even though I am not sure it is right or will succeed… Looking forward to more new adventures!

Just received a bad news today. A news that many might not know of yet… My uncle was being diagnosed with Covid, even after his first jab. He got it when he was trying to help an old lady who fell at home previously. He cried over the phone earlier despite being a man who is so tough in front of his children. I wasn’t shared with much information earlier today, but I will check and update again. He has been keeping this secret from his children (my cousins) as some of them are currently working overseas. He doesn’t want them to worry.

Will you want your loved ones to know if you got Covid-19? Is it selfish to keep it as a secret? Is it redundant to tell them by making them worry? What would you do?

Nothing Lasts

A star has fallen.

He left few days ago.

She is leaving in 2 weeks’ time.

I am leaving in less than a month.

“Cause in my mind, nothing lasts…” From a song I have been listening recently…

A high school junior of mine just passed away few weeks ago due to cancer. He used to represent our school, district, state for Chinese Martial Arts competitions. I came across his posts in Facebook one day, knowing he was suffering and finally not anymore. He has been surrounded by his loving family, friends and devoted girlfriend till his last breath. Let’s send prayers to him and his family. May he rest in peace and free from all the pain. God will comfort his family during this sad and difficult time.

Few colleagues of mine are leaving and soon would be mine too. I have finally decided on farewell gifts and messages. Something I find meaningful and permanent. One month ago, I started prepping myself before all the crying, bidding goodbyes, leaving a place with many familiar faces. Adulting huh… I am a person who is emotionally invested. It might take me awhile to adjust from missing them even more everyday. So yeah…

I called my parents early in the morning today. I will be missing father’s day this year again, so I bought them some tonic and supplements. I love how my parents occupy themselves experimenting new dishes, pastries at home. We learn to make new dishes during lockdown, so that we can cook for you when you are back someday, they said. Actually, I am doing the same thing in Singapore, exploring new recipes, so that I can return the favor when I am back home someday.

My little brother finally graduated from university. A burden off my parents’ shoulders. One of the greatest gifts for Father’s Day, my dad said. Upon calling my dad, I noticed he got older, for a moment, my heart ached a little. I sometimes question myself for being able to work overseas, but leaving my parents behind. Am I doing the right thing now? Will I regret in future that I did not spend enough time with them? It makes me ponder sometimes to quit everything and go back to my parents’ arms…

The other day, my friend asked me have I ever wonder a day without them (my parents) in future… My eyes were already filling with tears before I can speak a word. A deadlock I had no courage to think of, that this day may come. I am not sure I can “survive” without them one day especially if I am still single. I would be all alone by myself, nobody else to call when I have bad days, no one to share when I have good news. I might lose the purpose to live, I feel. Idk. I guess it’s the time of month.

How I wish I can ask my parents to join me staying overseas or just frequent visits, so that I am able to see them, timely update them all the events I have. I am still working hard for it. A main goal I would want to achieve, even if I am married one day. So that, they can see me often, feed us with good food and shower their grandchildren with love.

Nothing in the world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.

W. Somerset Maugham

2020 Reflections x 2021 Intentions

1.     What challenges did you face?
    –  Uncertainties, adjusting to new norm
 
2.      What lessons did you learn?
    –   Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice
 
3.     What do you want to remember?
     –  The year I had no idea when would be the next time I can meet my family and friends or travel. Never take things for granted 
 
4.     How did you grow?
    –  I learn to embrace when things might not turn out as planned
    –  I learn to accept flaws and not pushing hard on others and myself
    –  I learn to let go who no longer play important part in my life. 
 
5.    What do you want to celebrate?
    –  Thing that remains, friendships that stay
 
6.    What are you grateful for?
    –  A roof over my head
    –  I am loved
    –  I am alive
    –  A job that pays the bills
    –  Still chasing my dreams
 
7.    How did your heart break? How did your heart open?
    –  Screwed things up, and shut people off. Good thing about me when I hit rock bottom, I bury myself at work, and I will be fine eventually
    –  Knowing someone cares about me, constantly checking on me… For that, I am grateful. 

1.    How do you want to approach 2021?
    –  Remain fearless, stay calm for whatever happens. Not afraid in taking up risks, to stay focus for what I do
 
2.    How do you want to take care of yourself?
    –  To stay away from social media, unhealthy relationships & unnecessary conversations
 
3.    What qualities do you want to cultivate?
    –  Be present. Clarity
 
4.    How will you commit to yourself?
    –  Get honest with myself. Do something even if it is small
 
5.    What do you want to let go of?
    –  Dwelling on the past, worrying about future. Being a idealist.
 
6.    Where will you pour your attention?
    –  Mental health. Career. Education
 
7.    What habits or practices nourish you?
    –  Digital detox. Reflect. Journal/ blog