Well, please don’t get confused or misunderstood. Obviously, it is not a blog teaching you tips on how to find a pair of comfortable shoes here. Pretty much just a metaphor.
Hmm how do I even begin. The more I grow, the more I put myself first before others. Putting yourself first is not selfish. When your needs are well taken care of, you can give genuinely, and without expectation, that’s what I thought. I actually learnt a lot during pandemic, for example, able to acknowledge, control and deal with my emotions. I find time to decompress and recharge. Be kind to myself, and celebrate tiny milestones!
We used to choose pretty shoes over comfortable ones. If they are cheap, we would buy them, and then continue to buy more. We don’t appreciate, prolly throw them away after worn only a few times. It doesn’t matter if they hurt us really bad, leaving us scars or blisters. If they are super fancy or branded ones, it doesn’t matter if we really suit them, so long we are able to show off our social status among friends, they are good enough.
Now that we are more financially independent, regardless they are cheap or expensive ones, we only buy if they are comfortable. Why spending money on something that might hurt, leaving scars or blisters on our feet? The more we grow, the better we style ourselves. We prolly have found styles which suit ourselves, be it casual, minimalist etc. We feel good when we dress well, most importantly wearing something we are comfortable with.
When we were young, we sought to please people to adore us. We change ourselves so that we fit. Fit that friend, fit that circle. Otherwise, we are loser, we are not cool friends. Been there done that. Why making ourselves miserable when life is kinda rough already?
I stay away from the circle I do not belong. I focus more on myself, my career, ambition, mental health. Or rather continue to nourish those who stay, somewhere I have sense of belonging. Prolly we are already too busy with work, life, studies, we now put more effort into those who put effort into ourselves.
I learnt that people might walk away at certain point of our lives, prolly we are chasing different things, having different values, or priorities. Don’t chase people when they walk away. I believe God puts people in our lives for a reason, and removes them from our lives for a better person. But you should know that there is difference between being ignorant and having self love.
Just had a conversation with a friend today. She was too busy that she no longer groom herself.
“Beautify yourself! Put on some make up and go out!” we (me and another friend) said to her.
“I am not dating, hence no make up. And if I put on make up, people might think I am out of my mind!” she replied.
“Actually it will indirectly affect your mood. For instance, you will feel good when you look good, boosting your confidence. You should prioritize yourself over anybody else!” I told her.
Maturity is learning to walk away from people and situations that threaten your peace of mind, self-respect, values, morals or self worth.
I hope you found your pair of comfortable shoes too! 🙂