Will be working on myself in the meantime and taking a break. Not gonna post anything till someday. God knows when.
It’s a long weekend these weekends. Hence, my parents decided to come down for visit. It has been more than 2 years since they came down to Singapore. It was pretty spontaneous. Earlier, I was just casually asking my dad if they planned to visit us since border has been uplifted. And he reverted: yes we will be coming down next week!
He booked accommodation, submitted his pass for approval etc. Fast forward to Thursday, I went out for drinks. Revealed some not-so-secret secrets from my brother. I was not surprised, prolly due to society nowadays, it’s kinda common I guess. I am glad that I am a half glass full person. Somehow I overcome things easier than my friends, and even so, I am able to shower positive energy to the people whom I care.
Me and my brother fully paid for the trip expenses, something I am very proud of. I have been longing to offer this gesture. I brought them to places with legitimate food and services. My mom was happy to see her son after 2 years. I found my brother becoming more mature, he is more chivalry and patience now. Despite being his older sister, sometimes I feel like I am the younger one.
Visited Flower Dome & Cloud Forest. My mom loves flowers, hence it’s a right choice bringing them for the visit. Not to mention, it was pretty sunny and hot. So, it was wise to stay indoors surrounded by flora and fauna. Brought them for dinner in a German bar. Le brother did all the meat cutting which I am glad. I have no idea how to do it to begin with. We then chilled in the hotel for awhile before parents slept in.
Rebellious got us to sneak out for a late night movie. Fortunately, the nearest cinema theatre was just 3 mins away. Parents knocked us on the door at 8am next day when we were still in our bed. Freshen up ourselves, chatted a while while having breakfast before heading out for temple visit. I am glad that dad made such impulsive decision for driving many hours down to Singapore to see us, so that we are able to spend quality time together.
Parents left Singapore after we had Chinese cuisine for lunch in a mall. My dad even bought me some snacks that I casually mentioned before hehe. Went for facial before meeting up le friends at a well known Indian restaurant near Clarke Quay. Met a pretty cool new friend who works in cybersecurity field. He even introduced us a draft beer place for drinks. Though I don’t really fancy beer, I really had fun.
Pretty sum up my Good Friday which is indeed a good Friday. I must say time really flies with a blink of eye. It’s mid April and soon gonna be May. Lately, I found out I am a very bad texter, or rather I prefer face to face conversation. Sometimes I would just ghost people without my knowing, or I feel some texts don’t need my actions? I guess being someone whose love language is quality time, I just want to spend time with those I care.
My heart is full now.
This week marks my 3rd month being a yogi bear. Just in case you don’t know, a yogi is a practitioner of Yoga. I have been attending classes regularly since day 1 in 2022. Can I just say signing up this 2-year gym membership is one of my best investments thus far. I attend classes whenever I feel stress at work, most importantly for fitness purpose- physically and mentally.
Where do I begin, after changing team last year, I have been struggling to cope due to high volume of work. My senior left for project, restructuring exercise, workload pile over etc., last quarter of 2021 was insane. I left work 9-10 pm everyday, I was catching up on work while coaching newcomers. Thankfully our transportation expenses were fully subsidized. Despite ending work late, I took shorter time to reach home, or at least taking a little nap on my journey home.
I was so stress that I couldn’t sleep well for at least 2 weeks. As if the world is ending, never in my life I had insomnia for so long. I Googled, and also asked around to find alternatives for better sleep. My mind is like a gif with running horses whenever I closed my eyes. I never get to rest properly after hectic hours from work. Sometimes, I would feel a little breathless, not sure if my anxiety hit. That’s when I told myself, I need a change!
I had a long break in December as I was clearing annual leaves. Finally, I had some me time to do reflections. I don’t believe in working blindly. I mean without purpose. Every year I would have resolutions to work on, new goals to thrive, new things that I want to experience. Like bucket lists. I consider myself a goal-oriented person, hence ticking off bucket lists indeed give me satisfactions.
I dragged my brother to this gym after doing research. He is also a gym person, so I was thinking he can help out like asking questions in times of need. After some briefing and consultation, taking consideration it is a monthly unlimited pass, clean and solely female environment, location friendly etc., I committed. My brother was teasing me if I am able to stay determined in exercising. Proudly saying this, I stay committed!
Till date, I can’t say a con of exercising. I encourage my friends to work out especially now we are in our late twenties, our metabolism slow down. I can eat at peace without thinking I might gain weight, or feeling sinful. I work out 4-5 times weekly nowadays. You can say I am a maniac. I feel good when I look good. Not only that, my brain works better.
Starting my papers tomorrow, I have an online course to attend on coming Monday & Tuesday, following by 2 weeks later. I look forward to it! I managed to catch up on my work after coming back from Malaysia. I feel better to be able to travel and meet my family after 2 years. Oh, and I ate a lot too. Everyone was showering me love by cooking or sending me food hehe.
I am now back to the lively and cheerful me. I plan to go home prolly in mid year again as well as travelling to Australia to meet my best friend. Being LDR for 3 years, I missed her engagement stories, register of marriage, catching up on her marriage life. I have so much to tell her but I can’t keep up as I have many things to update. I miss our annual trip, can’t wait to meet her this year!
Writing this to celebrate my milestone. Went out with my brother yesterday, and we were taking pictures. The picture taken clearly showed I am the younger one instead. Guess exercising dedicatedly and feeling happy really help! Happy hormones indeed! I really love the current me whereby I am emotionally stable, I am able to give more. I am a giving person. I used to feel sad when I don’t receive the same favor. Earlier, I came across one article, for the fact that I am able to give, it is because I am an abundant person. I don’t need anyone to feel complete.
I hope I can remain the way I am, continue being a giving person without having any expectations. Guess I will be happier that way, whereby I can provide support, being a good listener, being a rock to someone whenever they need. I am a glass half-full person, I believe everything happens for a reason. To learn from experience, to shape a better me. I also trust that there will be a rainbow after rain. I want to continue stay young, and cheerful. Guess that’s my life goal!
So how are you feeling today?
I used to be very responsive, easily upset when I got mistreated, being accused on things I never do. I felt like I need to explain. But as I grow up, I realize that it is unnecessary. Part of adulting journey, I guess. We learn, we do, we fail, we experience, and that’s how we shape confidence and build our value.
Little story of mine…
A year ago, I encountered someone with higher rank (let’s call her Ve) falsely accused me in a conference call with few executives in it. Ve said a lot, assumptions I would say, as if I never done my job properly. My boss was in the call, and texted me not to keep quiet if I have something to say. Then here come other department leads saying I am definitely not that kind of person as well as jobs done are as per standard operating procedure.
Management was convinced and they believe our functions are on track. Told us to keep up the good work. It’s more powerful when others were speaking on my behalf. For those who work with me often, they know my work. Not to mention, plenty of them are few ranks higher than myself.
Another time was when Ve passed message to my boss that I did not mean it. My boss checked with me separately, and asked if it is true. I showed her our conversations, not sure what Ve has misunderstood, I told her. My boss said there is no need to be upset as she believed me, she knew me.
There is always someone who likes to mistreat, or being unkind to others. Slowly, I learn not to be reactive or rather responsive on every word. I learn to speak out only when necessary, when someone is over stepping boundaries. I know my values.
Never take things personally when something happened, or someone blurted nasty words. If the person likes you, you are right whatever you said; if the person hates you, you are wrong in every way you do.
Often, we spend time trying to convince and explain to those who never believed us in the first place. If you did something wrong, just admit, fix it, and move on. If someone insulted you, just laughed away. They don’t deserve your time.
We try, we fall, we learn. Always believe in yourself despite the whole world might not have faith in you. Ending the post with a quote.
A lion does not flinch at laughter coming from a hyena. A gorilla does not budge from a banana thrown at it by a monkey. A nightingale does not stop singing its beautiful song at the intrusion of an annoying woodpecker.Suzy Kassem
Cheers to all of us who fight hard everyday, en route in achieving our dreams! Goodnight.