Attended psychological first aid recently, and learnt that I actually take good care of my mental health, unintentionally. Self care, they said. There are few categories to it, namely physical, emotional, mental, social interpersonal, spiritual and behavioral.
Having to juggle exam and work at the same time, it can be too much to handle sometimes. I tend to watch zombie apocalypse movies, do manicure/ pedicure, more workout when I am in stress. I don’t really feel it (stress) cause I will unintentionally be working on something to relieve stress. My housemates noticed and told me. I then came to realize, oh right, I tend to do that when I have many things on hand.
Attended another company training and learnt that everyone has stuff going on in life. We might not understand, but a little kindness wouldn’t harm. Our actions, words which we don’t mean it intentionally sometimes might create impact on someone. Recently, I finally met someone whom I worked with 2 years ago. Knowing him transferred to my dept last year, he might not remember me, I thought, so I didn’t introduce myself when I saw him.
One day, he was sitting beside me, noticed customised bottle with my name on it. He ping me and I received pop up on screen. We then glanced at each other. He thanked me for the partnership rendered last time, catching up a little. I was just doing my work last time, and didn’t come to realise I would create impression and it stays even after 2 years. There’s this old saying, people will never forget how you made them feel.
If you are reading my blogs, you might know I joined another team this year. I was struggling to bond with new team, prolly I was too close with ex team. I find myself an odd one in new team. It didn’t really bother me, until few months later, I thought this should stop. How can I be not close to anyone in the team. I gonna be a lone wolf and got nobody if I need help. There’s still long way to go with this team.
I took courage to drop random messages in group chat, work related of course. The response was cold. Sometimes I didn’t get any response at all. Is it team culture? Am I being intrusive? Or they are just shy? Soon, I found out they are rather shy, or afraid to say something wrong in public. Things turned warm and I started getting lunch invites.
It got better when I started organizing team bonding. It’s my chance to know them, I thought. Plus I am the youngest in team after all. I was contemplating if I need to adjust myself to fit in. Don’t try to be someone you are not, one said. I am energetic with lots of positive energy. I don’t need to be quiet or mellow down to fit in. I am who I am. People will just accept it as it is otherwise they might think I am of two-faced.
Now that I finished exam, I have more time for myself especially on weekends. Waking up to making breakfast with nice cup of mocha. Do groceries run nearby, bumping into random uncle greeting me on beautiful weekends. Cook herbal soup for nourishment after working so hard on weekdays. Do house chores and run errands. Also, I got to write journals, catch up with reading and try out tennis and pickle-ball.
“Being in the present makes you stronger.” Nobody will know how long we gonna live, enjoying the moment is all that matters. Loving my job, spending time with friends and family, doing things I am passionate about. Embracing myself. Sharing kindness with boundaries. Respecting others but not neglecting my own needs. I am doing well and hope the same for you.
Best regards,
Self Care Bear 🐻
Live. Laugh. Love. 
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