Tag: career

Everything Will Fall Into Place Right?

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I have officially moved on to new team on 1 Feb, felt like a newbie at work. Not knowing what to expect or so… My ex-teammates are no longer same floor as me, so I am all alone at level 46. Some part of me wished I can follow them, some part of me knew that’s not what I want. I know I gonna learn a lot in new team. It has the biggest portfolios after all.

I am the only person whom my boss brought over. Wow! That’s what people thought too. One part of me is glad as I don’t need to adapt new boss; another part of me kinda loss sense of belongings. Sounds exaggerating huh. Didn’t know it will hit me like this, I think I am more affected leaving my team than joining the new team. My ex-team disbanded.

I posted on IG, asking: “Everything will fall into place right?”

Friend XZ:

Texted me asking why am I feeling emo? I told her re-org happened, and my whole team is gone. My boss brought me over but I feel like losing sense of belongings, so I cried. I was consoling my colleague the other day, we are still in the same bank, we could meet for lunches, but there goes me crying at home lol. XZ reminded me nothing is forever at workplace. Checking in if I will be going home soon, to ensure I am not alone during CNY. I like how she appeared when I need someone.

Friend Je:

Asked me if I am feeling okay and what happened? Hmm some work matter, and I am still coping… 2nd day with the new team. He reassured me saying: everything will be okay! Sometimes life pulls you back a little so you can go further just like an arrow on a bow! That’s my favorite quote! I thanked him for bringing this up to my eyes again. He should know it means a lot to me. He added, I should be proud of myself that I am constantly pushing my limits, cause he is very proud of me!

Friend Cal:

She replied to my story: absolutely yes! Sometimes we need to fake positivity to stay positive. Thank you for reassuring it when I am not able to stand firm on what I believe in.

Friend Jo:

Are you okay? To be honest, I don’t want to fake it up, I came from a team of 8 to me, alone now. Today finally hit me and I break down crying. Hang in there, feel free to meet up if you need, she said. Nah, I don’t feel like talking, I am heading home in few days’ time, I will be fine. I might feel better if we could proceed our Korea hotel booking. We settled everything in 2 hours. The apartment that I wanted was reserved by someone else. Nonetheless, I am pretty satisfied with our final choices. Everything happened for a reason huh.

Friend Zay:

Hey, you wanna come out and talk about it? It’s okay babe, I don’t feel like meeting anyone now. I am here if you need someone to talk to, he said. I know he will.

In times like this, I feel really blessed. I have friends that console, reassure and provide me comfort, especially those who gave me words of wisdom. I hate holding negative energy, I will do whatever to churn it away. Work maybe, or some readings. Still have a lot of things to learn, work to catch up. Not to mention, I will be on long leaves during CNY, meaning to say I needa clear tasks on hand in advance. Hmm, sound occupied already. I should get some rest these days and clear my work whenever possible. That sounds like a plan!

How I Kickstart 2024

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  • Got a new haircut (so refreshing)
  • Reviewed an account with 12 emails of supporting docs (little pat on the back!)
  • Fulfilled bridesmaid duty (knew 4 new friends)
  • Concurred 8 hours road trip (so much fun having karaoke in the car) (loving road trip cause I am not the one driving hehe)
  • Visited new states in Malaysia (learnt different cultures too)
  • Back to Penang after 5 years (gained little food baby hehe)
  • Appointed IBG-COO social committee FY’24 (exciting events to look forward)
  • Being offered Singapore Leadership Scholarship for EMBA (gonna turn down)
  • Got approached for new career opportunities on LinkedIn (hmm)
  • Tried Baba costume at Peranakan museum (so elegant)
  • Crashed bestie’s bridal shower (first time attending bridal shower)
  • Cheongsam experience (had Chun-Li hairdo for gate crash hehe)
  • Back to mural paintings after 9 years (Gosh! Time flies)
  • Had fried sago at the market (similar sauce as kangkong squid I feel)
  • Mini earthquake at work (gonna part ways with current team)(but I got what I wanted and my boss remains)
  • Went for Chicken Pao, Pan Fried Chicken Dumpling workshop (housemates said I should just continue working in the bank)(as if I hurt the paos lol)
  • Blood donation (wanted to donate in Dec’23, but barely had time in SG)

Knew 4 ladies during Penang trip. We are of the same age, that explains why we clicked well I guess. We literally spent 3D2N together. We talked about marriage, love, life & career. They are matured and independent. They prioritize themselves, and work hard to enjoy life to the fullest. I learn that despite growing up differently, some values cultivated were similar. It had been a while since I spent so much time with bestie (5D4N), we had very different values. I am an A; she is a T in MBTI.

Over the years, I learnt to be assertive and step up to communicate. I used to be afraid of rejections, but I guess organizing workshop last year shaped me into a better person. Had so many rejections in a month as compared to what I had over the years. Well, it was a good takeaway. I can do stuff without having regrets now. Still feel little proud of myself to be able to pull through the workshop, with much help from the seniors, of course.

Had rough weeks, work related- lots of rumors on new team arrangement. Knowing bits parts of news here and there, I really didn’t feel good about it, but I keep reminding myself to have an open mind. Everything happens for a reason right? In conclusion, I will be following current boss to form another team, together with 5 new teammates. Well, job scope remains which I favor, but the portfolios now are bigger. Good learning opportunities I guess, from reviewing SME to midcap, now large corp. I really can’t think of any cons for this arrangement. 🙂 Staying optimistic!

I feel much better now, I mean like who likes to work under uncertainties right? Now that I know what’s the outcome, I can refocus on my work, to do handover when time comes.

Has been a rollercoaster ride for the past month, lots of events happening, still trying to cope. Not sure if I have more responsibilities now, or my work has been piling up during colleagues’ absence over holiday period. I have been working overtime for the past weeks, stay home and work. Ugh. People have been asking me to take things slow and watch my health. I mean like if my work is not cleared, my health will definitely get worse. I am almost there, no more overtime after this! Tsk.

Unsettled

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At times I stay late at work, biting granola bar, thereafter continue drafting my emails…

At times I eat sandwiches as late dinner by the roadside, waiting for taxi to go home…

At times I walk around to buy dinner but all shops have closed, and I am starving…

Totally not ranting how I am being tied down, but rather feeling contented to be able to enjoy what I am doing now even though I give in a lot of time at work. At times where I feel stressful over workload, being tasked to coach and do reporting recently, I am glad I am valued as an asset to the team, to the company. Not to mention, I just joined the team 4 months ago. How time flies.

I have learnt so much, and definitely so much more to learn. I am thankful for having knowledgeable bosses and considerate teammates. They are more experienced than myself, and being very open and always up for discussion whenever I need help. I am tasked to assign, to do reporting and to coach a newcomer. Though at times I still feel I am rather new, not sure if I am ready to handle all these matters, but I will definitely do my best!

Counting down 2 more days to December, and it is the beginning of festive season as well as my birthday month hehe!! I am totally looking forward to all the plans I have with my friends- cycling, Thai food feast, Ocean restaurant experience, staycation, meeting my long lost friend, buffets and gifts!! So excited, and hopefully I never gained a lot of weight by eating too much.

Ps. Sagittarius rocks 🙂

Slowly but Surely…

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Finally, back to office after 2 months. Apparently, it was my very first week working in the office after internal transfer. Having a million-dollar view, I finally made it, I thought. I feel so powerful standing tall after working hard from one office to another, from west to east, and now at one of the skyscraper buildings in central business district.

Though I might still be struggling with the workload, but I am sure I will push through. It’s just a matter of time. Le boss just announced some good news where we will be having bigger team, apparently the workload has spiked tremendously as compared to last year, hence with the increased staffing, hopefully we are able to close more cases at our end.

Also, I am assigned to complete a curriculum with regards to my profession within 2 years. I felt weary at first as I just submitted my assignment few days ago. I had so much sleep debt to pay back. But to think again, I am thankful for the opportunity.

The program actually serves like a management trainee program but more in AML/ KYC aspects. With the courses being heavily subsidized, I will definitely grasp these opportunities to better equip myself before reaching another new height. Totally looking forward to it! One step closer to my dream career, even better now with company providing resources and roadmap to us!

Now that I have more time on weekends, I plan to:

  • Organize meet up or virtual ones (keep it small)
  • Go for candlelight concert
  • Donate blood again
  • Complete 15 new books
  • More paintings
  • More karaoke sessions (at home lol)
  • Improve French (work on listening)
  • Practice Cha Cha (work on routines)

Slowly but surely… 🙂

Love Yourself First before Falling in Love

Published on by Lee AlisonLeave a comment

Not falling in love yet… I am a total different person now, I feel. I am not afraid to voice out, take rejections and have more self awareness. I guess it was my damn ego last time. I now don’t put anything else before myself. I don’t want my relationship seem like a mission to complete due to reaching “age of marriage” already.

I am not looking for someone to accompany me cause I am single; some of my friends did. No comments, but I would rather stay alone. I would love to have someone that can have fun with as well as thrive for future together. Earlier, I met up with a friend, and found out he broke up with his girlfriend few months ago. From what I knew, they don’t fight, or argue. They kept feelings and never voiced out, maybe they thought it may affect their relationship, or they feel obliged to adjust to their partner. Later, the girl asked for a break up.

Communication is very important in a relationship, so that your partner knows your expectations and vice versa, even better if it is being communicated since beginning. Often, we wanted to build that ‘perfect image’ in front of our partner, being very accommodating even though at some point we might not feel comfortable about it. But, it is also important not to take things personally and always keep an open mind. We all have things we like and do not like. It would be good if we respect each others’ likings or hatred.

I think I am quite matured, so I really need someone who is on par or more mature than me. I ever doubted myself, thinking whether I am good enough. I was very unhappy, and I feel I am no longer myself anymore. Maybe I was too young, and not good in handling my emotions. But slowly, I learned that I am the one who takes charge of my emotions. Not anyone else.

I love how I am being appreciated and respected, for being able to voice out what I want or not want. I feel like everyone should have another part of his life instead of fully vested in relationship. I am not saying to have an affair. The 100% of us should comprise more than just being in relationship. Modern days now, even for women, it is important to have career to thrive, hobbies to enjoy, keeping up friendships and family matters to prioritize.

Side track a little. Tiny milestone to celebrate: I quit doing eyelashes extension, like finally! It was a thing where you don’t want to stop once you start doing it. I once thought I was not attractive enough, in need of that ABG look to boost confidence when I don’t put on make up. Slowly, I accepted who I am, and obviously I am happier now. I no longer worry that I am not able to meet my friends when I don’t have 13mm eyelashes on me.

Darn insecurities, bye!