Category: Weblog

Everything Will Fall Into Place Right?

Published on by Lee AlisonLeave a comment

I have officially moved on to new team on 1 Feb, felt like a newbie at work. Not knowing what to expect or so… My ex-teammates are no longer same floor as me, so I am all alone at level 46. Some part of me wished I can follow them, some part of me knew that’s not what I want. I know I gonna learn a lot in new team. It has the biggest portfolios after all.

I am the only person whom my boss brought over. Wow! That’s what people thought too. One part of me is glad as I don’t need to adapt new boss; another part of me kinda loss sense of belongings. Sounds exaggerating huh. Didn’t know it will hit me like this, I think I am more affected leaving my team than joining the new team. My ex-team disbanded.

I posted on IG, asking: “Everything will fall into place right?”

Friend XZ:

Texted me asking why am I feeling emo? I told her re-org happened, and my whole team is gone. My boss brought me over but I feel like losing sense of belongings, so I cried. I was consoling my colleague the other day, we are still in the same bank, we could meet for lunches, but there goes me crying at home lol. XZ reminded me nothing is forever at workplace. Checking in if I will be going home soon, to ensure I am not alone during CNY. I like how she appeared when I need someone.

Friend Je:

Asked me if I am feeling okay and what happened? Hmm some work matter, and I am still coping… 2nd day with the new team. He reassured me saying: everything will be okay! Sometimes life pulls you back a little so you can go further just like an arrow on a bow! That’s my favorite quote! I thanked him for bringing this up to my eyes again. He should know it means a lot to me. He added, I should be proud of myself that I am constantly pushing my limits, cause he is very proud of me!

Friend Cal:

She replied to my story: absolutely yes! Sometimes we need to fake positivity to stay positive. Thank you for reassuring it when I am not able to stand firm on what I believe in.

Friend Jo:

Are you okay? To be honest, I don’t want to fake it up, I came from a team of 8 to me, alone now. Today finally hit me and I break down crying. Hang in there, feel free to meet up if you need, she said. Nah, I don’t feel like talking, I am heading home in few days’ time, I will be fine. I might feel better if we could proceed our Korea hotel booking. We settled everything in 2 hours. The apartment that I wanted was reserved by someone else. Nonetheless, I am pretty satisfied with our final choices. Everything happened for a reason huh.

Friend Zay:

Hey, you wanna come out and talk about it? It’s okay babe, I don’t feel like meeting anyone now. I am here if you need someone to talk to, he said. I know he will.

In times like this, I feel really blessed. I have friends that console, reassure and provide me comfort, especially those who gave me words of wisdom. I hate holding negative energy, I will do whatever to churn it away. Work maybe, or some readings. Still have a lot of things to learn, work to catch up. Not to mention, I will be on long leaves during CNY, meaning to say I needa clear tasks on hand in advance. Hmm, sound occupied already. I should get some rest these days and clear my work whenever possible. That sounds like a plan!

How I Kickstart 2024

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  • Got a new haircut (so refreshing)
  • Reviewed an account with 12 emails of supporting docs (little pat on the back!)
  • Fulfilled bridesmaid duty (knew 4 new friends)
  • Concurred 8 hours road trip (so much fun having karaoke in the car) (loving road trip cause I am not the one driving hehe)
  • Visited new states in Malaysia (learnt different cultures too)
  • Back to Penang after 5 years (gained little food baby hehe)
  • Appointed IBG-COO social committee FY’24 (exciting events to look forward)
  • Being offered Singapore Leadership Scholarship for EMBA (gonna turn down)
  • Got approached for new career opportunities on LinkedIn (hmm)
  • Tried Baba costume at Peranakan museum (so elegant)
  • Crashed bestie’s bridal shower (first time attending bridal shower)
  • Cheongsam experience (had Chun-Li hairdo for gate crash hehe)
  • Back to mural paintings after 9 years (Gosh! Time flies)
  • Had fried sago at the market (similar sauce as kangkong squid I feel)
  • Mini earthquake at work (gonna part ways with current team)(but I got what I wanted and my boss remains)
  • Went for Chicken Pao, Pan Fried Chicken Dumpling workshop (housemates said I should just continue working in the bank)(as if I hurt the paos lol)
  • Blood donation (wanted to donate in Dec’23, but barely had time in SG)

Knew 4 ladies during Penang trip. We are of the same age, that explains why we clicked well I guess. We literally spent 3D2N together. We talked about marriage, love, life & career. They are matured and independent. They prioritize themselves, and work hard to enjoy life to the fullest. I learn that despite growing up differently, some values cultivated were similar. It had been a while since I spent so much time with bestie (5D4N), we had very different values. I am an A; she is a T in MBTI.

Over the years, I learnt to be assertive and step up to communicate. I used to be afraid of rejections, but I guess organizing workshop last year shaped me into a better person. Had so many rejections in a month as compared to what I had over the years. Well, it was a good takeaway. I can do stuff without having regrets now. Still feel little proud of myself to be able to pull through the workshop, with much help from the seniors, of course.

Had rough weeks, work related- lots of rumors on new team arrangement. Knowing bits parts of news here and there, I really didn’t feel good about it, but I keep reminding myself to have an open mind. Everything happens for a reason right? In conclusion, I will be following current boss to form another team, together with 5 new teammates. Well, job scope remains which I favor, but the portfolios now are bigger. Good learning opportunities I guess, from reviewing SME to midcap, now large corp. I really can’t think of any cons for this arrangement. 🙂 Staying optimistic!

I feel much better now, I mean like who likes to work under uncertainties right? Now that I know what’s the outcome, I can refocus on my work, to do handover when time comes.

Has been a rollercoaster ride for the past month, lots of events happening, still trying to cope. Not sure if I have more responsibilities now, or my work has been piling up during colleagues’ absence over holiday period. I have been working overtime for the past weeks, stay home and work. Ugh. People have been asking me to take things slow and watch my health. I mean like if my work is not cleared, my health will definitely get worse. I am almost there, no more overtime after this! Tsk.

Journal Prompts for 2024

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  1. What are 10 great things that happened or that you accomplished in 2023?
  • Completed Business Mandarin for Banking Professionals
  • Appointed University of Manchester Alumni Association’s Board of Committee
  • Got Service Recognition Award/ Won Q3 CORE Star Award
  • Completed House Renovation (It turned out exactly what I wanted)
  • Organized A Workshop (Wrapped up with lots of compliments)
  • Attended 5 Good Friends’ Weddings (Feel like a proud mom)
  • Dressed Up during Dinner & Dance (Go Merida!)
  • Went for Disney Immersive Experience & Concert/ Yiruma’s Concert
  • Attended 2-Day ACAMS Conference (Met Interpol OMG)
  • Travelled to Taiwan & Sydney (Missing winter already)

2. What do you want to celebrate?

  • Everything! Little wins, great achievements, failures. It molds what I am today!

3. How do you want to approach 2024?

  • Slow down. “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”

4. What qualities do you want to cultivate?

  • Let things happen, trust the process, and enjoy the ride!

5. What good habits do you want to continue adopting?

  • Being assertive, not just confident

6. How will you commit to yourself?

  • To remember that no matter how hard it gets, I will continue to remain true to myself

7. Where will you pour your attention?

  • Family, Career, Education & Connections

8. What habits or practices nourish you?

  • Workouts, read books, writing journals & listening to music

9. What do you want more of in 2024?

  • To take a leap of faith, especially before turning 30!

10. One small thing you do everyday to be yourself?

  • I will give my very best everyday

Last Homebound in 2023

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Managed to go home one last time before year ends. Everything happens for a reason. Never meant to take long leaves to go home initially, however, there were few occasions happening. Fulfilling duty of a daughter, a niece, a granddaughter and a good friend.

Paternal Grandma’s 86th Birthday

Grandma never wanted a birthday celebration. Some myth saying life span would get shorter whenever we blow off candles. A simple dinner would do, she said. It was supposed to be on Sunday, but I will be away by then. I initiated another dinner, to be held earlier. Not to mention, le uncle and aunt are flying back to UK coming Tuesday. A good timing for all, I guess. The food was nice, another uncle brought plenty of red wine for sharing. After dinner, grandma started giving out red packets. She reiterated not to have anything fancy, so this was unexpected. I gave her red packet in return. She rejected me in the first place, asking why am I giving her that. I explained to her, it was meant for her birthday. As much as I wanted to spend time with her, I needed to leave early for work. I work hard to provide, and she is one of my biggest motivations, I said. She gradually accepted and proudly told everyone it’s from her dear granddaughter, me!

Maternal Grandpa’s House Visit

Went home few weeks ago, and noted grandpa’s listening is getting worse. We need to speak loud in the room so that he could hear us clearly. Sometimes, he got confused with different language of similar slang. We bought his favorite food before paying him visit. He gobbled soy bean curd despite just had his breakfast not long ago. I crashed into his room to watch badminton live together. It has been awhile I get to spend time with him like that. I vaguely remember when grandma was still around, we often watched games together with cousins. Precious time. I miss grandma, and her lost recipes- steamed egg with minced meat & rice dumplings. None in the family could recreate same taste as hers. My mom ever said she regretted not to learn them, now that we want to eat, nobody knows how. Before leaving, I told him I will be back during Chinese New Year, asking him to take care and stay safe. I must say, bidding goodbyes is never easy.

Witnessing 12 Years Relationship Turning Into Marriage

We are a bunch of high school buddies, relocating in UK, Australia, Malaysia and Singapore. It is very hard for us to gather for an occasion, but we made it! Beginning of the year, we attended le BFF’s wedding; before year ends, we got to reunite. God knows when’s our next meet up, but we treasure every moment together. BFF helped me with my hairdo as I always hurt myself with the curler. Got traumatized, so I stopped doing it. I was chosen as team bride for some little games on stage. My friend (the groom) mixed up all the answers, despite knowing all the answers, emcee said we were wrong. I was so embarrassed on stage as if I don’t know them well. My friend (the bride) later clarified we got the answers right, just that the answers emcee had on hand was opposite. Took plenty of pictures, updated each other of what had happened lately. I didn’t cry, instead looking forward to see everyone in future. Such a big girl. We hugged each other goodbyes.

Welcoming Last Twenties With A Big Heart

How are you celebrating your birthday, people asked. Not much, having brunch with parents, flying back SG, lastly dinner treat from le bro. That’s all I need, simple and full (my belly). I am grateful for what I have, and look forward for what I can achieve in 2024. Didn’t get to spend my birthdays with parents for many years (blame the Covid). I am thankful for my friends’ wedding, I got to come home and extended stay. I can’t thank everyone enough for all the birthday wishes and words of wisdom. Managed to visit temple, did prayers and donations before flying home, my bi-annual ritual. I feel contented and abundant, to be able to support my team, friends and family. It’s festive season now, so I am trying to meet as many people as possible before year ends. I was caught up with work and alumni commitment earlier, but I hate the idea of me just focusing career. Taking these opportunities i.e. Christmas, New Year etc. to celebrate milestones with my loved ones.

I am defo one lucky girl. 🙂

Tranquil Moments

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It has been awhile I am lying on couch, catching up with friends and family over messages. These few weeks have been crazy- overwhelmed with work, settling house furniture, planning for a workshop held in November, sending speaker’s invites, more weddings to attend.

Now I am typing this while hearing drizzles, having some quiet moments in the room. I was kinda stress out that I had nausea occasionally. Having rejections at work, for association events, made things worse. Feeling better now, trying to deal with my emotions.

I pray for October to be a smooth one, to be surrounded with abundance of peace.

Rejections is God’s redirection something better to your life.

Stephan Speaks

If God closes your door, believe that He has something better, something bigger in store for you. If someone rejected you, canceled you, or invalidated you, be reminded that God is just protecting you, redirecting you to greater blessings.

Winter Sydney

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What are your favorite memories of the entire trip?

  • Resuming our annual trip (with le BFF) post Covid
  • Took nice poser photos at Sydney Opera House
  • Witnessed beautiful Sydney (love the vibrancy)
  • Watched Beauty and the Beast Musical (one of the best musicals so far)
  • Brunch at Sydney Fish Market (so fresh and being pampered with so many choices)
  • Taking ferry trip (is it just me, I think taking ferry as public transport it’s so cool!)
  • Visited 2nd Luna Park in Aussie (though didn’t win any this time)
  • Hurricane’s Grill, had dinner at one of the best grill place
  • Had best mocha ever in The Grounds of Alexandria
  • Saw le dream bag in LV, something to strive for

Something to look forward after the trip:

  • To spend more time in nature next visit- Manly Beach, Blue Mountains
  • Helicopter experience, one of my bucket lists!
  • Visit The Grounds of Alexandria again! I miss their coffee
  • Vietnam trip w le BFF end of the year

Kids Are Fallen Angels

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I had the sweetest hug from a little girl yesterday. Went for volunteer work with a group of family, spending time at Jumptopia, iLight. It is an annual event sponsored by my company. Given the opportunity to involve in volunteer work, spending time with kids and their families, why not.

It was a bloody hot day, thankfully there was no rain, otherwise we would be staying indoor, that’s all. No outdoor events. We were allocated to a family of 6, mother and her 5 children (4 boys 1 girl). We introduced ourselves (oh, I had 2 teammates with me too) and off we go to the event space.

The children were so obedient and helpful. We slowly opened up to each other after playing few rounds of games. We won prizes i.e. tote bags and tumblers. It was super hot, we sat down and chill for a bit before heading to Jumptopia. A place for kids to jump around. It was my first time, so I got to enjoy myself while taking care of the children.

We played slides together, run and jumped around, caught fish with the little girl, cheered for the boys etc. She slowly relied on me and has been tagging along ever since. She likes to sit beside me, walk with me and whisper to my ear. She always has that little grin whenever I look at her. 🙂

We took a break in between for dinner before heading for iLight. She literally hold my hand the entire evening instead of the mother. She listened and mimicked me. She is so obedient that I adore her so much. Her mother was so assured and left her children with me rest of the evening.

We strolled along Singapore river, to enjoy the night view of city. We helped the family to take family photos in front of Marina Bay Sands. I remember holding the little girl’s hand and ask: are you happy today? She shyly nodded, and then began to ask me if I am taking off from work today. I took off so I can meet you, I told her!

While pointing her my office building nearby, which level are you working at, she asked. 44th, I said. I spelled my company’s name, she followed. How adorable. Her older brother told me he is having his 9th birthday 3 days later. What’s your birthday wish then, I asked. He replied he doesn’t have any. How blessed is he, for not having any wishes. He must be one well loved and contented kid.

The older brothers were shy at first, we encouraged them to play since we were there to have fun. The mother was concern if we had dinner; the boys helped out to carry bags; we joked around. I really had a lot of fun that night. Hope we created a lot of good memories, like having fun at bouncy castles, teasing each other, took selfies together. Fist bumps!

The little girl buried herself between my legs before bidding goodbye. She ran to my teammates and waved goodbyes to them. Nothing can describe my feelings especially thinking her “see you again” with that smile. God knows when would be the next time we meet again. They said kids are fallen angels, true enough, as they have the purest heart after all. What a meaningful day!

Ps. I don’t usually write a blog post event so quickly but yesterday was so magical that I want to pen down how I feel. Despite knowing we might never see each other again, I truly treasure every moment we had. No Monday blues at all. 😀

May Day

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May was not smooth as I wished. But hey, it’s June already!

What I did in May:

  • Settled flight to Australia (includes Sydney this time round)
  • Prawning event with the team
  • Invented one pot pesto chicken, it’s super good
  • Paid income tax, ugh
  • Received another wedding invitation held in October
  • Found out 2 good friends of mine got engaged!
  • Spent 5.20 in a bar that can sing the night away
  • Baked blueberry breakfast cake, and met le ex-team after 2 years
  • Had scrumptious breakfast at a café I had >7 years ago, food is still yummy!
  • Flew home after a month, with le bro this time round
  • Celebrated parent’s day with fambam

Don’t really recall what happened during those rainy days. One good superpower I guess…

Watching a camping variety show recently. So pleased seeing the guests spending time under a sky full of stars, in the forest, beside the beach etc. I was once a scout where we built our camping site from scratch, cooked food with limited resources, had forest adventures etc. I was so happy. The days were so easy, it was a runaway from those hectic tuition schedules & endless studying.

Earlier, I was desperately looking for countries to travel. Maybe I was too tied up that I need a break from work, from study, from assignment. I feel suffocated, everything seems to have no end. I had commitments that’s why I am not able to run away from the Lion City. Adulting huh. Wanted to travel to Japan in late Oct/ early Nov but I was down to organize a talk for alumni.

Back to camping topic, it feels at ease to be back to nature, away from city life. I wish for a day to be able to spend time in front of campfire again, with someone I love, or a bunch of friends. Sipping a cup of latte early in the morning, surrounded with fresh & cooling air, waking up to more greens in nature. Another bucket list to work on aye!

Reminiscing Taiwan

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Picture says it all.

Day 1- Shang Wen Brunch, Komeda Coffee, Shin Kong Mitsukoshi, Da Dao Cheng Braised Pork Rice, Taipei 101, Florian, Ichiran

Day 2- Fu Hang Soy Milk, Shandao Temple, Huashan Creative Park, Simple Kaffa, Su Hang Dimsum Place, Ning Xia Night Market

Day 3- Chu Zuo Breakfast, Enroute to Taichung, Yi Zhong Street

Day 4- Blue Fairy Castle, Sun Moon Lake, Xuan Zang Temple, Qing Jing Farm, Feng Chia Night Market

Day 5- Shen Ji New Village, Come True Coffee, National Museum of Fine Arts, Wuwei Teahouse

Day 6- The Second Market, Forth Credit Union, Miyahara, National Museum of Nature Science, Blike, Ye Dumpling, Zhong Xiao Road Night Market, Party World

Day 7- Back to Taipei, Ximen Jinfeng Braised Pork Rice, Eighty-Eightea Ribansyo, Ximending, Da Lian Meng Baseball League

Day 8- Yehliu Geopark, Jiufen, Shifen, Ximending

Day 9- Yong He Soymilk, Orange Shabu Shabu House

April Journal

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Feeling well contented this April. It has been a fruitful one with plenty of takeaways, regardless in career etc.

  • First Qing Ming experience with family, annual prayer to the ancestors
  • Revisited Taiwan after 12 years, creating new memories
  • First baseball/ pitching experience, it was not easy!
  • Fed sheep in a farm, I was pretty scared in the first place
  • Unlocked new speakeasy with ex-colleagues
  • Had Michelin breakfast (miss it already!)
  • Tasted world’s best coffee, Simple Kaffa
  • Had first pig blood in my life (been there, done that)
  • Went Yiruma’s concert (regret not getting myself VIP)
  • Representing team to attend ACAMS APAC Conference (such an eyeopener!)
  • Started Business Mandarin for banking professionals course (hope it helps in my career)
  • Appointed as board of committee for Manchester University Alumni Association in Singapore
  • Attended Manchester Annual General Meeting, and got to know many seniors
  • Won a bottle of white wine in townhall, cheers to long weekends!

So many social activities in April, finally all has come to an end! Everything would be back to not-so-intense, I hope. To be honest, though I love going out to have fun, I gonna admit that I still need a lot of quiet time too.

Looking forward to prawning event coming Friday, and heading home end of the month!